If you've been here for a while then you know I'm constantly writing and re-writing my first book.
 It does take a village. 
Only that my village is basically made of one single person: me. 
And for little me with various interests - and an obsession with binging tv-series - it does take some time to actually have something fully formed. 
Hence why I basically failed at my #CampNaNo goals.

 I didn't write 100k - although I do have more than 100k words typed down. 
I didn't finish my novel - so here's another boo hoo moment right there. 
I obviously didn't write 1k words every single day - duh! 
And I definitely had a mental breakdown. 
Actually, I skipped it and went for a full-on panic attack. 

But hear me out! 
This time I'm very motivated. 
I need to give this book an ending and I basically found out why I couldn't go there just yet. The story was lacking something. I needed some backstory, some changes, new characters, new POVs. 
I basically re-drafted the whole thing. 
Well, not the whole thing just yet, I'm giving myself until the end of October to have it all figured out, but you know when something just clicks? You write - or, in my case, re-write - some parts, you change the POV and suddenly you realize why it wasn't working before and how now everything seems to fit

Like when you buy a dress, you try it on and you kinda like it - I mean, it's beautiful, the fabric is amazing and the colour is just stunning - but there's something off about it and you can't really quite get what. 
You look in the mirror and yes, it does fit in some places but it bulges in others and oh, you see that? 
Is that a stain? 
For the love of God, take it off!

You take it off, try a new size but this one doesn't fit at all. So you give up and try another - not before crying in the changing room and deciding you're on a strict diet for a month at least! 
But this one
Oh, this one fits perfectly in all the little details. 

That is how I'm feeling with this book, right now, after I cried, bled - quite literally - and had multiple panic attacks and went through phases of self-doubt where I started questioning my sanity - am I bipolar or is it just the moon? - but then I got it right. 
I'm still making some changes, though but times does make perfect. 

Moral of the story: try new dresses before deciding on the one because it might look like the perfect dress when you see it but it might also be the wrong one. 
Try them all.

 Try every combination until you find the one that clicks.
 Then go with it. 

And don't give up.