I don't wanna kill the vibe here but the truth is, May hasn't been a very good month for me. I was constantly on edge, my anxiety levels were sky-high and panic attacks came and went almost every. single. day.
I think it was because I've been struggling with some things that I won't talk about here but let's just say I've had better times. The shitty weather didn't help either. I have never wanted Summer back like this year, just because I'm not a fan of the heat and I feel claustrophobic whenever it's too hot but Winter dragged me so down I really needed a little bit of sun to get out of the house and go on a long walk. I just needed it. My brain needed it too.
One thing I'm trying to do though - even if I'm much better at saying things than practising them - is to focus on the positive and I have to say, there have been some things that really cheered me up. This is the part where I talk about them so I can feel better with myself. Enjoy.
01. I wrote a lot. Poetry, short stories, articles, essays, personal stuff, the more, the better. As you know - if you read the post where I talk about all the things that are changing on the blog - I'm now publishing all my writing on Medium just because I wanted this space to be just for rumbling about books and such, so I tried to separate the two. It also did wonders for my cluttered brain. I wrote about friendship and love and how to make money writing and I have so many new pieces I want to publish and I feel like this is the right time to do it. I'm feeling it, you know?
02. I got accepted as a writer on some top Medium publications. For someone who wants to make writing her day to day job but never actually tried writing for publications, this was huge. It gave me great exposure to a different audience and also the buzz to write more.
03. Pretty exciting emails. Sometimes you just have to pinch yourself twice to realize that yes, things are really happening, after years of trying and failing and going back up and falling again. I received a very awesome email that I couldn't believe was true but it was and even though I won't see the outcome of it for a few months, it's still a great feeling. You will definitely know more about it this Summer, I promise.
04. I watched lots of tv and I'm not even ashamed. I find that every time I'm having a bad day or things aren't going as they're supposed to or I just need a little bit of TLC I can count on Netflix. You know, I read books all the time and sometimes they don't work because you need your brain focused on what you're reading but my brain needed a little bit of a break so movies and tv shows work wonders whenever that happens. I binged The Society which, if you haven't watched it already, like, seriously, you definitely should! It's so good and yeah, maybe the acting is not the greatest - I have my few favourites - but the storyline is intricate and interesting and there's such a good variation of characters with different issues and a great representation of a varied society. Definitely worth a binge!
05. I can proudly say I have finally finished reading The Secret History and sweet baby aliens, it was so. bloody. great! I've been stuck on a reading slump for ages and I couldn't bring myself to read the last few hundred pages since February, I think but I really wasn't having it. One day I got tired of seeing that book on my desk, unfinished, the bookmark poking out, and with a billion of other books that wanted to be read. I picked it up and read 200 pages in one night. Things really happen around page 500 and I was so sucked into the story that once I finished it, I kinda wanted to read it all over again. I restrained myself from that, mainly because I had another one that needed to be finished as well so I cried a bit, gave the characters my farewell, went to bed and finished the second one.
Life is great when you get things done.