It's that time of the year again... where we make a list of goals we want to achieve and then completely forget about them all.
Sounds fun.
Okay, let all take a deep breath and leave 2019 behind. It really did a number on us, didn't it? It was so bad and full of sadness - for me, at least - that I'm quite happy and relieved it's all gone.
The scars it left behind still burn but the promise of another chance at making things right is quite enough for me to be hopeful.
This year I want things to change. Not only that. I'm working on changing them. Because if you wait for that little bit of luck to turn in your favour, then maybe you won't ever be happy or satisfied. We have to work on things. This year's word is manifestation.
I'm still quite hurt and not fully recovered from how bad 2019 left me, so I'm taking it a little bit slow but consciously working on some stuff at the same time. Now, I'm not saying I have it all under control, stuff happens, but I want to be on top of things. I have goals and good thoughts.
be on top of my (mental) health.
This past year I've had really bad anxiety to the point where I had a panic attack almost every single day. It was bad.
I tried to do yoga but was so unmotivated that I gave up two weeks in. I knew it was good for me but waking up already anxious didn't give me much time to think about anything else.
This year I'm making a conscious effort to think about my health more. I'm in such bad shape - and not only because of all the Christmas food! - and my brain just doesn't function properly.
I'm picking up running. I know, for someone who hates running, this looks like a living hell. But I've been inspired and already bought some running gear so that's definitely happening (although first thing in the morning when nobody can see me.)
I also want to travel. I've always been so scared to do it alone but watching a lot of people travelling solo, it made me realize how cool it is and how life-changing it could be for me. Now, I'm far from planning a Safari in Africa but maybe starting small will do? I also really want to go to LA so something like that will definitely happen.
I think, overall, stepping outside of my comfort zone will absolutely benefit me and my mental health.
work. work. work.
I sucked at it this year. I had such big plans of becoming a writer and I let it all go to waste.
I want to focus on my career as a writer, I want to finish my debut novel and finally start pitching to some agents. I also want to keep writing articles on Medium because I really loved the platform this year and the support of people reading my stories. It felt amazing. So more of this.
We all know I have a constant struggle with Instagram. With its algorithms always changing, messing things up for us, it's a nightmare! I even tried to change my style - and realized it was taking me a very long time to put pictures together and sometimes gave up entirely.
This year I will work more on that. I know I shouldn't focus so much on it because maybe one day it will all disappear but since we're here, why not take the effort to actually do something and see if anything happens? Right? Consistency is key, or at least that's what people keep saying.
art.
I want to make art this year. All kinds of art. From zines to whatever my mind thinks of.
I want to start learning photography - I used to take lessons a while ago and then stopped because it was too expensive. We're lucky we have the Internet on our side, you know? Instead of leaving negative comments on someone's IG, we could actually learn something. Who knew?
make it a ME! year
This year things are going to change. I'm not taking any BS from anyone and if I think things aren't working anymore, I'll just cut those dry branches and move on. Maybe cry a little but then move the fuck on.
I'm so done waiting for people. I'm so done waiting for something that will turn my day around for the better. I wanna be that person who makes things better. I'm not waiting around anymore. I'm going straight for my path, I won't stop for any reason. For anyone.